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By: Nancy Grace Contildes August 28th, 1980 I am 30 ½ years old. The alarm goes off and I am already awake. I woke up with an over whelming feeling of disaster coming. I had, had premonitions before and woke up from dreams that were telling me something but this feeling was the strongest I had ever experienced and it was scary. I got up took a shower, got dressed and the feeling was getting stronger, but I couldn’t completely identify its meaning. Then I got C.L. up fixed coffee, breakfasts, and lunches. Before C.L. left for work I tried to tell him about the feeling and told him to be careful when driving cause I wasn’t sure if it was for me or him, he used some derogatory words to express what he thought of my “stupid, etc. premonitions” (even though he had seen evidence of prior ones working out) then he left for work. So I got the girls up, Connie (12 yrs old & Nona 10yrs old) when they were awake and dressed, I fed them. Before they left I sat them both down and told them I wasn’t sure how to explain to them but I had a strong feeling that something “not good “might happen before I got home from work and if I didn’t get home at the regular time then they were to call Grandma or Aunt Karen. Nona started to cry and I reassured her everything would be alright but she was still upset cause I had said it might be bad, yeah , no I didn’t say bad, just “not good“, but my wise little girl said it means the same thing so I tried to explain further that I don’t know what this feeling is , just I think something is going to happen to me but I will be okay and I want both of you to promise you will come straight home from school and not go outside . They promised they would and would call my mom or Karen if I and/or C.L. weren’t home by a certain time. Then off to school they went, and then it was my time to go to work. I was standing on the carport looking at my car and thinking that if this feeling was concerning an accident then maybe it would be safer to take the car. Suddenly I hear a voice seemingly, standing right next to me but really in my head , that very sternly says,” No you are to take the motorcycle “ (and I almost fell off the carport because I recognized the voice!) “Colonel”, I ask, “is that you”? And I am turning around; don’t know why cause Colonel died in a motorcycle accident in June, 1977. “Yes”, he replies. I ask,” Why are you here?” And he replies,” I have been sent to be your guide for the day”. “My guide”, I question, “why is that”. “Because today is your day of change”, he informs me. “Change? Well then it does involve an accident, then I am taking the car”, and he says, “No you must take the motorcycle”! But I am obstinate and get in the car, he says,” it won’t start” and I say, “yeah well just watch, it was working last night and the engine is new no reason that it won’t“, yeah well says me but it didn’t start. Wouldn’t even make a noise so I got out and opened the hood and he is saying, “It will do you no good cause it won’t start, you MUST take the motorcycle“. So I resigned and figured I better get a move on, because here I am supposedly talking to myself even though Colonel was standing right next to me. As I unlocked the gate I asked him why I had to change. I liked my life, my car was rebuilt, paid for, running great, my motorcycle was only 9 months old, the girls were great and growing up so well, CL and I were getting along really well, I had a great job that paid good and I like my life as it is and for the first time ever it is all working out according to plan. His reply was, “HE said it is your time for a change” and I inquired, “HE?” “Who is HE?” He said,” HE is the Boss, number 1 and you must do as HE says and you can‘t change it, you can‘t stop it.” I asked Colonel if I will die in the wreck but he hadn’t answered me at all. Again I ask will I die and he says, “No, that is why I am with you but it will cause you to change your life.” How,” I ask,” what kind of change, will it hurt??” His answer is mystifying to me, “in many ways new to you, ways that you will not be able to stop or turn around.” So I ask,” Will I be badly hurt?” “No, and Yes, he says, “That is why I am here to watch over and guide you. “ So when I get into the garage, after I push the bike out and start it, I go in to get my helmet and I am thinking if I got to be in a bike wreck then I better wear the full one with the face shield but Colonel is yelling at me,“ NO, No, No, you must wear the other one” (a parachute’ helmet that just sits on the top of my head) the one I usually wear when it is hot, it is Arkansas and it’s hot today. But again I am obstinate and ignoring the commanding spirit of a dead friend that died in a motorcycle wreck! So I put on the full helmet and got on the bike to leave, all the while he is still loudly and forcefully Demanding I change my helmet but I ignore him, lock the gate and take off. At that point he quit saying anything at all and about a ½ block down the street I no longer had control of the bike and it is like someone else was in my body, the bike stops and heads back home and when I stop in front of the gate I have control again but the bike dies and won’t start, again I hear Colonel command me to change my helmet and I say well maybe I just won’t go to work today and he says you can’t stop it, it will happen if not today then tomorrow but it will happen it is your time for change and you can’t stop it!! So I changed my helmet and left for work. I worked in Jacksonville about 8 miles from N. Little Rock and all the way there I kept asking when it would happen, on the way to or from work but he said no more to me until just before Jacksonville and he told me to stop and fill the tank cause an empty tank explodes. So I did and when I went to pay the old man at the station he asked if my glasses were glass and I said yeah they are cause they are prescription and he said well if you are in a wreck they will shatter and blind you and I felt Colonel run his finger up my back and made me shiver. And the old man says someone walked on your grave huh? So I made it to work and through the day with no more from Colonel. After work I sat on the bike for a bit trying to determine which way to take home, the freeway or the Old Jacksonville Highway which is the way I normally went. I decided to take the freeway and went I got to the stop sign where you go left to the freeway or right to the OJH again I had no control and went right. I regained control about a mile down the Highway. So far it is a pleasant ride just 5 miles to home. As I wonder if the cop is on the other side of the hill just past the turn off, I look at the speedometer and can see we are going the speed limit of 35, at that same moment I came to the split off of the highway. Just ahead about a block is the turnoff. AND THAT IS AS FAR AS I CAN REMEMBER AND I HAVE STRAINED MY BRAIN TRYING TO REMEMBER, BUT PAST THAT MOMENT I CANNOT. About 4 hours after the surgery I went into a coma and remained there for 78 hours. At that moment the Doctor was in the process (Story of both my mother and sister) of telling them to not look for recovery my life signs were dropping and with the severe injury to my skull and brain along with the large amount of blood loss before I ever reached the hospital (¾ of what is in the body). I was dreaming that a little red Datsun pick up coming straight at me on my side of the highway and there was nowhere for me to go to get out of his way no defense anywhere. On the right was the wall separating the 2 highways and on the left a liquor store close to the street and just beyond is an extremely large oak tree in the middle of a small swamp. I was standing on my pegs waving my arms at him screaming “Can’t you see me, get out of the way!!!” (The witness said that as he came out from under the train bridge he saw a red Datsun pick up playing chicken with me and that I was gearing down and looking for some way out but the truck was speeding up and on my side of the road and when I went to the other side so did the truck, he said there was no way for me to get out of what happened. The boys driving a father’s truck were both high and both black, I had passed them on the hwy before that day at about the same time. ) Then, BAMM I was awake and was wondering what that was all about (the dream) and I’m staring at the ceiling and I hear a slight noise when I turn my head to the left a young nurse is reading a book, when I turn she looks up and jumps up about 3 feet off her chair and got behind the chair. She then came around to me and started checking my pulse and asks me if I know what my name is and it took me a bit and she asked me again. I told her wait it is in my head wait, my head hurts, then I said,” Nancy “, she said I will be right back and she ran out of the room. Mom says when the Doc is saying,” please be prepared she only has a 70/30 chance because of the blood loss and brain/skull damage“. Mom said this little nurse came running in and the Doc bent over, she whispered something in his ear, He looked surprised and said he would be right back , Mom asked if they could come see me and he told her to have a little patience he will be right back ! I barely remember but the Doc came into my room and asked me if I knew where I was, with a strain to my brain I said, maybe in the hospital? He said yes and asked me if I could remember anything that happened to put me there, no I said I was having a bad dream, OMG, how is my bike I blurted out and he laughed and said he had no idea that I was his concern. Then he had my Sister and Mom come in I couldn’t remember their names but I knew who they were. Then CL came in and I had no memory of him at all and at first look he scared the hell out of me. It was scary to go home with him and I had no memory of even my girls. My oldest had to teach me how to use the potty, dress, bath, etc…….. C.L. felt that if I looked okay I must be okay and got very mad when I kept repeating myself even though the Doc had told him that would happen ! C.L. said I was stupid that I could have been more defensive and kept the hit from happening, he was always yelling at me and scared the stuffing out of me, I couldn’t take it anymore so in Nov. me and the girls moved into a house with my sister. I had no memories of the past for a lot of years and had to reteach myself how to remember new stuff. When I did have a sudden return of a memory it was instantaneous and I would blurt it out no matter where I was, couldn’t help it and couldn’t stop my mouth!! I embarrassed a few people when that happened cause it was usually of them! LOL Notes: What I didn’t know till much later was that C.L. was having an affair with his ex-wife’s sister that I had known from the beginning that he was in Love with her but she was married and would never fool around but she had recently gotten divorced and had contacted C.L. . I knew she had called because I had answered the phone but never thought she would do that to me and they didn’t even stay together for long after the girls and I moved out in Nov. because she was looking for security and didn’t like sex! (C.L. and I were never married just lived together for almost 10 years. He was a good man for helping me raise my daughters he loved them as much as I did. ) Colonel (Larry Horton) was a good friend of the family he shared the same birthday of my oldest daughter, Connie Marie, and had celebrated it with her for a few years before he died, 2 weeks before their birthdays. He was the President of the Road Barons of NLR Ark..; C.L. Hoard (Big Red) was the Sergeant of Arms at that time. Colonel was a medic in the Army. The man that witnessed the wreck saved my life he took what was left of my shirt and used it to compress the crack in my skull. It happened close to a trailer park and when the man stopped to help me, a bunch of men (bikers) ran out and he commanded them to stop the boys that hit me to stop trying to get their truck off my bike, told one to call an ambulance and cops. And the others held down the boys. (The description on the report, of the witness, fit what Colonel looked like the last time saw him!) My sister worked for Insurance Co. and after a month or so I asked her to find the man that saved me so I could thank him. His name was on the police report, but Karen said, after extensive research, that is was as if the man never existed, so we went to the address he had given and all there was was a big field between the road and the freeway. So again she researched for that address, it turned out to be the address (the field) of a farm that was in that area in the 1880’s and the name of the family that had owned it was the same name last name that the man had given on the report ! If I had had on the full size helmet, the Dr. told me, when I went flying over the truck and hit the tailgate the helmet would have been forced to the back of my head, broken my neck and killed me ! The tank on my bike was smashed by the truck bumper. My glasses didn’t break or shatter. Witness reported: When they hit me they were going fast and I went flying over the truck and my helmet went the other way I hit the tailgate with my head, bounced a couple times and slid about 30 feet on my back. I had 3 cracked ribs in the front and 4 in the back and road rash on my lower back and lower legs. I was all muscle (175 lbs.) at 5’ 4” and the Doc said that saved my life cause if I had been of regular size for my height (135) it would have shoved the ribs into my heart, lungs and killed me. Also the fact that I was dressed securely with jean jacket, jeans, and work boots helped protect my body from more damage! The job I had at that time was a Rodman for a surveyor, had been doing it for 3 months and was good! We worked mostly in the country walking from 15 to over 20 miles in a day, nearly every day! We had to cut our way through woods to lay lines for electricity, water, etc... I could cut down small trees with a Kaiser blade, because I was the Rodman, I had to lead the way and carry a 40 lb backpack with the surveying equipment in it while cutting down brush and small trees about 3” to 4” around and I was Good !! I loved my job and the people I worked with, I was the first woman Rodman in the State of Arkansas!!! So many questions so many answers for the same thing/ 2 sides to every story never forget that and the one closet to you may be the biggest liar. I could not process thought till maybe the mid 90’s. After that day, I basically went where the wind blew me, made many, many mistakes, some I still regret because I couldn’t think my way out of a wet paper bag! I could follow spoken directions; my intuition was my failsafe in many instances! I had dreams that told/showed me what to do and premonitions guided me. If I could turn back time! What have I learned since that day? A very, very, very lot some that can’t be revealed because it is not the time, sometimes I just know when a person is just wasting my time (and sometimes others) for their benefit it only takes one time for me to have learned to back off cause that means danger / more loss to the undeserving, the greedy take what they want to your disbenefit, we wear what we are, if you reach out from yourself to touch another you can give with that touch but words written mean different things to everybody and without seeing a person in action so to speak you cannot tell who they are, what they want out of life and what exactly their words mean if you have never met them ! Sometimes I can hear people’s thoughts! A lot about the human race and how they react to the dramas of their early lives and I can watch not listen because a lot of words at once I often could not understand, too fast (still that way) and I learned a long time ago to be aware of the fast talker cause they tend to talk you into something, you, not them will end up regretting because you were not given time to comprehend all the words they just said and make sense of them, those are the people that take advantage they make false promises to be able to take what you have with your unknowing permission because there was not time to think and something in my psychic makes me automatically say yes, there is no reasoning to it, it is unstoppable, as was that days happenings. Sometimes when I cannot comp what a person is saying, sometimes but not every time, I will remember to start repeating, out loud, what they just said so to slow them done and if it is working into a con it disrupts when you interrupt. Every person sets off their own energy field when around others and if they have leaded a defensive/negative life, it controls the person they are. A lot of people like feeling negative they thrive on it when they most often have habitualized everything inside of their minds. I have learned to be a listener and learned to read body language and coordinate the words with the body. It is very accurate so I can usually tell what kind of person you are within 10 minutes of first meeting you because of your energy, BL, and words in delivery. We have spirits all around us and if we can see, i.e. listen and hear their directions we can stop when it is needed / required/ necessary/ preordained to know of/ to be aware/ so as to understand the other persons ideas and how they are feeling and most will tell you within the first ten minutes. We are all creatures of God and He will command us when necessary!!!!! |